For Family Lawyers
Supporting Clients Who Are Unsure About Separation
Not every client who comes to a family lawyer is certain they want to end their marriage. Some are responding to a partner who has already made up their mind, while others feel pressure to act before they have had time to reflect. When a client is uncertain, their instructions can change partway through a file, which is costly for them and frustrating for everyone involved. Discernment counselling gives these clients a structured way to reach a clear decision before the legal process begins.
What Discernment Counselling Involves
Discernment counselling is a short-term, structured approach for couples where one partner is leaning out of the relationship and the other is leaning in. Unlike traditional couples therapy, the goal is not to repair the marriage during our sessions. Instead, we help both partners gain clarity and confidence about the direction of their relationship, based on a deeper understanding of what has happened between them.
The process is built around three key elements:
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The work takes place over one to five sessions, and the first session runs approximately two hours.
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Most of each session is spent with each partner individually, with brief joint conversations at the beginning and end.
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Each partner decides independently after every session whether they would like to continue.
Three Possible Outcomes for Couples
At the end of discernment counselling, couples choose one of three paths. They may decide to keep their relationship as it is for now, move forward with separation or divorce, or commit to six months of couples counselling with separation set aside during that time. Whichever path they choose, both partners leave with a shared understanding of the decision and the reasons behind it.
For clients who choose separation, this clarity often makes the legal process smoother. Partners who have worked through their uncertainty together tend to approach negotiations with less conflict, and conversations can focus on practical matters rather than unresolved emotions.
How Discernment Counselling Supports Your Practice
Family lawyers refer clients to discernment counselling for a number of practical reasons.
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Clients tend to give clearer instructions once they have made a considered decision about their relationship.
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Couples who choose separation after this process often experience less conflict during negotiation.
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Clients who decide to stay together avoid the expense of a legal process they did not need.
We do not provide legal advice. Our work is meant to complement yours by helping clients arrive at your office ready to move forward.
Understanding the Limits of Discernment Counselling
Discernment counselling is not mediation and does not replace legal advice. Our sessions are not intended for use in legal proceedings, and we do not prepare custody reports, provide parenting assessments, or act as expert witnesses.
This approach is also not appropriate for every couple. We do not recommend discernment counselling where there is violence in the relationship, where one partner is being pressured to attend, where a decision to separate has already been firmly made, or where an affair is ongoing and has not been disclosed. If any of these apply, we will discuss other options with your client during the initial consultation.
Referring a Client to Clear Horizons
Referring a client is simple and does not require any forms. You can share a link to this page or provide our clinic number, 778-705-2089. Clients begin with a free 15-minute consultation, and there is no obligation to continue afterwards. If you would like to discuss whether a particular situation is a good fit before making a referral, please call the clinic and we will be happy to talk it through with you.
Practical Information for Referring Lawyers
The following details may be helpful when referring a client.
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Sessions are available in person at our Langley office and online for clients anywhere in Canada.
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Our published rate for couples sessions is $250 plus GST for 80 minutes, and discernment session fees are confirmed at the time of booking.
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Either partner can contact us first, and it does not need to be the partner who wants to stay.
If you would like a written summary of the process to keep on file or share with clients, please email info@clearhorizons.ca and we will send one to you.
Supporting Family Law Practices in Langley
We work with couples throughout Langley City and Langley Township, including Willoughby, Walnut Grove, Murrayville, Brookswood, and Fort Langley, and we offer online sessions for clients anywhere in Canada. Family lawyers across the Fraser Valley and Metro Vancouver are welcome to refer clients to us, whether or not they live nearby.
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If you would like to learn more about how referrals work or discuss a specific type of situation, please contact our clinic. We are always happy to answer questions from legal professionals and help your clients find the support they need.
